


Past Lives

by onedirectionymcmb



Category: Chicago Fire, Chicago Med, Chicago PD (TV)
Genre: Attempted Kidnapping, Attempted Murder, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, F/F, F/M, Kidnapping, M/M, Mpreg, Murder, Past Mpreg, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-08
Updated: 2018-10-28
Packaged: 2018-12-12 17:40:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11741937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onedirectionymcmb/pseuds/onedirectionymcmb
Summary: Jay Halstead is a man of many secrets. Now his past is coming back and he can't control it. With growing feelings for his boss and his son to worry about, Jay is in a hole he can't get out of. JayxVoight. ErinxNadia. Mpreg. Past mpreg. WIP.(Since I wrote the first chapter from my phone and after reconsideration, I renamed Riley Halstead. His name from now on will be Evan Halstead. Who ever has read the story before and is confused, I have resubmitted the chapter with Riley's new name. I forgot that I have a different story featuring Will Halstead and Jay Halstead on my computer with the name Riley so I changed the name for the story. Sorry for all the confusion. -onedirectionymcmb)





	1. Chapter 1

Summary: Jay Halstead is a man of many secrets, but they seem to start spilling out when he develops feelings for his boss, Hank Voight. Mpreg. Slash. JayxVoight. ErinxNadia.

X

Pairings: Hank Voight/Jay Halstead, OMC/Jay Halstead, Erin Lindsay/Nadia Decotis, Kim Burgess/Sean Roman, mentions of Kim Burgess/Adam Ruzek

Warnings: homosexuality, male pregnancy, past male pregnancy, violence, many other possibilities.

X

Jay cursed under his breath looking at the time on his phone. He was running late and his boss would not be happy. He thought back to this morning before he left home.

_"Evan! We have to go!" Jay yelled, once again rushing from the kitchen. The young detective went up the stairs and to the first room on the right. The door was wide open and a small child, no older than four years old, was standing in the room with tears in his eyes. Jay walked over and knelled down in front of the boy. "Baby, what's wrong?"_

_Jay looked over the child's face and body, looking for any signs of injury. Evan's blue eyes were glued on his shoes. His brown shaggy hair falling into his eyes. "I can't tie my shoes like you, Daddy." The child cried. Jay just smiled and moved his hands to his son's shoes. The laces were knotted together._

_"You're okay, Ev. You did your best. Nothing to cry about, buddy." Jay said softly, looking into Evan's eyes. He worked the knots loose and tied the little boy's shoes the way they were suppose to be. He leaned back on his heels and looked at the boy once more. "See, baby boy. Nothing to cry about. You're still learning. Soon you'll be able to tie them like I can." He stood up and picked up the four year old before placing him on his hip. Jay walked out of the room and made his way to the door. He grabbed his coat and his son's and quickly put them on. Grabbing his last minute items, he left the apartment and locked the door behind him._

The brunette grinned to himself as he entered District 21. He had woken up late cause he stayed up almost the entire night due to Evan having nightmares. He blamed himself for running behind schedule. He was late dropping off his son with his nanny, a sweet middle aged mom named Clara Rogers.

Jay put in his codes and made his way up the stairs to the Intelligence Unit floor. Everyone was already at their desks, talking to one another. Jay slipped behind Atwater and sat down at his desk. Erin looked up from the case file she was reading and cocked an eyebrow. "You look like hell, Jay."

"Didn't get much sleep is all." Halstead replied, with a smile on his face. He sighed and looked down to the case file he knew Nadia had to of put there. He was starting to really worry about Evan. He's been having nightmares almost every night for the past two weeks and the child wouldn't tell him what they were about.

Voight came out of his office and looked around at the detectives in the room. Jay peered up to his boss' face, taking in the cold features that somehow made butterflies come to his stomach.

"This case was brought to me personally. Three victims all shot execution style with a letter written in blood on a wall, floor, or any place near the victim. I don't know what they stand for or mean but we have the best detectives of Chicago in this room. Figure it out." Voight said plainly before Ruzek stood up and went to the white board.

"Victim one was killed in Valentino Bar in Beverly. The letter left with him was a J." The dirty blonde stated, posting the picture on the board. "The victims name was Matthew Colace."

"The second victim, Charles Martin was found in a warehouse outside of Canaryville. The letter M was left on the wall by his head." Antonio Dawson added, handing the photo to Adam. Jay opened up his case file and began reading the details when Erin stood up.

Lindsay went to the board and placed the third victim's photo by Martin's. "Hadley Sawyer was the third victim. Found dead at Riverton Apartments with the letter H on the floor beside him."

"J.. M.. H.." Jay whispered to himself, his eyes widening. He sucked in a breath and bit his lip. It couldn't be. Not now.


	2. A Partner Knows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erin knows something is bothering Jay and makes him tell her what it is.

Jay was figetty for the rest of the day while he was waiting for time to head home and grab Evan from Clara's house. This case was off to him. The places the murders took place and the letters left behind by the murderer. He kept looking the file over and over. Antonio was out talking to one of his CI's while Ruzek and Olinski were away following up on a possible lead. The young detective knew he should say something, but he could be wrong. He had to be wrong. All three of these places had significance to him and the letters matched perfectly to his own intials. Maybe he was wrong. God, was Halstead hoping he was wrong.

The brunette could feel eyes on him. He looked up to see Erin looking at him with a look on her face. The woman looked around before getting up from her seat and approaching his desk. "Jay, take a ride with me." Not wanting to argue with his partner, he simply nodded and grabbed his his stuff and followed her out of the bullpen.

Neither of them said a word as she started driving. He wasn't exactly sure were Lindsay was taking him. "So, Jay.. you have about two minutes to tell me what is with you today or I will handcuff you to my car, and I will refuse to let you go until you tell me." Erin stated, peering over to him for a moment before turning off onto a random street.

Jay sighed. "Erin..." He couldn't even say another word before he was cut off by the fiesty woman.

"I know what you're about to say, but Jay Halstead you are my partner and my best friend. I know you've been keeping things from me. The only way I can help you is if you tell me." Erin muttered softly. From the couple of years working with Detective Lindsay, he knew that she could read him better than anyone. Halstead looked out the window and leaned back against the seat.

"It's a long story. Why don't we stop somewhere and grab something to eat. I'm starving." The blue eyed man whispered. Lindsay didn't reply to him before driving to another street and pulling off at a small cafè.

Once inside, the two detectives ordered their food and sat in silence for a few minutes before Jay found the courage to open up. "Well, this case. I have this feeling it's connected to me." Erin stopped moving completely and watched her partner. "Every one of the crime scenes that the victims were found at places that I used to hang around with my ex from back then." Halstead explained, taking a drink from his soda.

"Okay, so you have a connection with the places. What else makes you think that you're connected to this?" questioned the caramel haired girl. Before anything else was said, their waitress came by with their food and set down each of their plates to their rightful owners. The waitress smiled and dismissed herself for the detectives to be alone once again.

"You know the letters?" Erin nodded as her answer. "Well, they are my initials. My name is Jay Michael Halstead. The letters left were-"

"J, M, H.." Lindsay whispered. The brunette nodded slightly, eating a couple of bites of food. "There is more to this than just these few details. What else is bothering you? You need to tell me. If it's connected to you, you have to let me help."

"Well, I don't think it's just me that's connected to it." This made Erin cock an eyebrow.

"Who else is connected to it? Mouse? Your brother?" Jay shook his head. He really didn't want to tell Erin about Evan. Evan is his world. The man fought with himself as he thought about it.

"Let's take one more ride. I want you to meet someone." He finally said, defeated. The two quickly finished their food and Jay put money down on the table to cover both of their lunches plus a decent tip for their waitress before they left.

"You gonna tell me who it is you're protecting?" Erin asked, driving to the address that Jay had given her. The man merely looked at her and gave her a smile.

"You'll see."

It wasn't long till they got to their destination and both detectives got out of the car. Erin looked around. It was a comfortable neighborhood. It appeared to be middle class residence and was only a few blocks away from Jay's apartment. "Where are we?" The caramel haired detective asked, not sure on why they were here.

Jay didn't say anything as he made his way up the steps of the house and knocked on the door. The door opened and revealed Clara Rogers. Erin looked the woman up and down. She was petite and had long black hair that went to her mid back. Her light brown eyes were warm as she smiled at Halstead. "Jay! It's a surprise, you're not suppose to be here for another hour or so."

The blue eyed man smiled. "Yeah, came to grab Evan a little early. I want to introduce him to my partner." Clara nodded and disappeared into her home for a minute.

'Evan... maybe someone Jay knew for a while?' Erin thought, watching Jay switch from foot to foot nervously. 'Or maybe not..' The female detective was taken back when a small child came running and hopped into Jay's awaiting arms.

"Man, buddy. What is Mrs. Rogers feeding you?!" Jay said causing a laugh to come from Clara.

"I'll see this little guy tomorrow. Have a good day, detective." Evan's nanny said and went back into her house, the door lock clicking shut behind her.

The two detectives and the child loaded up into the car and drove away from the home. "Where to, Jay?" Erin asked, clearly wanting answers.

"Let's just go back to my apartment." Jay replied, looking back at Evan who was playing with his toy giraffe. The ride didn't last long and they were all heading into Jay and Evan's apartment. "Go put your stuff up, Evan." The child smiled to his maternal father and disappeared up the stairs.

Jay watched up the stairs for a minute before turning to Erin. "Who is he?"

"Erin, that's my son." Jay smiled, a glint in his eye that Erin hardly ever sees.

"Where's his mother?" Jay laughed, not exactly sure how to say it. This was going to be a very awkward conversation.

Halstead moved more into the living room and grabbed a picture of a sonogram. He ran his finger over the picture before handing it to Erin. The brunette male grabbed one more picture as Erin looked at the name. "It's your name is the mother's spot. How is that possible?"

"Well, I'm not exactly sure and the doctors couldn't figure it out either. My ob-gyn at the time told me that I have a womb hidden behind my organs. Biologically, I am a male. I just have a uterus. Which I know it's strange. You can be grossed out if you want but he's my son." Jay explained. It was the best way he could explain it. "It was hilarious. My reaction when I was told I was pregnant. Couldn't believe it until I felt Evan kick for the first time. That's when it became real."

Erin couldn't speak as she tried to take it all the details. First, her partner was a male who got pregnant and had a son. Second, kept it from her. Third, thought she would be replused by it. Without a thought, Erin laughed with a smile on her face. Halstead's smile dropped off his face. Erin thought he was crazy.

"Erin-"

Lindsay smiled. "Man, this is great! Why didn't you tell me?" She squealed, completely out of her normal demeanor. "Let me see that photo." The brown eyed girl demanded. Jay handed it to her and just watched his best friend. "Awe.. he's so cute. I'm guessing this was the day he was born."

"Yeah, it was." Looking at the photo in Erin's hands. The gown he was wearing was pulled down to his stomach and an infant Evan was laying on his chest, craddled protectively in Jay's arms. "It was the best day of my life."

"Who all know about him? Man, I'm asking a lot of questions." This caused Jay to laugh.

Evan came running down the stairs and went to stand by his father. "Just my brother, my father, Mouse, and now you. Well, also my birthing doctor and midwife." Lindsay smiled looking at the child. He looked so much like Jay. His eyes were the exact same shade of blue. His hair was different by the texture though but almost the same in color. She did notice how small he was for how old he looked. She just came to the conclusion it was because his mother is a male.

The female detective knelled down to Evan's height and smiled to him. "Hi, Evan. My name is Erin Lindsay. I work with your..." Erin looked up to Jay unsure of what to say.

"He calls my dad. Will tried to teach him to call me mom to mess with me but it didn't work." Jay stated.

Erin nodded and looked back to Evan. "Well I work with your dad. He's my partner and we fight the bad guys together." Evan smiled and waved shyly at her. He was used to meeting knew people, but Lindsay was really pretty in his eyes and he was suddenly shy.

"Hi, Miss Erin." Evan whispered before looking up to his father. "She's pretty, daddy." Both Erin and Jay cracked up into a fit of laughter. Jay picked the boy up and Erin stood back up to her full height.

"I think someone has a crush on you." the blue eyed man smiled, tickling his son for a second and putting Evan into a fit of giggles.

Erin smiled. "Yeah, seems like Nadia has some competition cause you're such a handsome little guy." She said, a smile coming to her face as she thought of her girlfriend. "So Evan, why don't you show me your favorite toy? I have a question for your daddy."

Evan nodded and the detective placed him on the ground and the child quickly took off. "What question, Erin?"

"What are you going to say to Voight?"


	3. Telling Voight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Disclaimer, I don't own any of the characters involved in this story except the OC's. I also don't own any of the songs used in this story.

The thought of telling Voight all of his secrets weighed on Jay. How was he suppose to tell this man not only about his son but his past? He rarely opened up to anyone. It was hard to open up to just Erin alone.

  
He had been off for a couple of hours and he was laying on the couch nursing on a beer and holding Evan close to him. Evan had a nightmare and came into the living room. Usually, Jay doesn't drink near Evan at all but he let it slide this once since Evan was already in and out of sleep as it was.

  
"Daddy.." Evan's voice was soft. Jay rubbed the boy's back as he cried more. He wasn't sure what Evan's nightmares were about but they had started recently. The boy wouldn't tell him what happened in his dreams so Jay never knew what to say to sooth his son. He only held him close and would sing to him.   
"Want me to sing to you?" The man asked gently and he could feel Evan nod against his chest.

  
_Hey Jude, don't make it bad_   
_Take a sad song and make it better_   
_Remember to let her into your heart_   
_Then you can start to make it better_

  
_Hey Jude, don't be afraid_   
_You were made to go out and get her_   
_The minute you let her under your skin_   
_Then you begin to make it better_

  
_And anytime you feel the pain, hey Jude, refrain_   
_Don't carry the world upon your shoulders_   
_For well you know that it's a fool who plays it cool_   
_By making his world a little colder_

  
_Hey Jude, don't let me down_   
_You have found her, now go and get her_   
_Let it out and let it in, hey Jude_   
_Remember to let her into your heart_   
_Then you can start to make it better_

  
_So let it out and let it in, hey Jude, begin_   
_You're waiting for someone to perform with_   
_And don't you know that it's just you, hey Jude, you'll do_   
_The movement you need is on your shoulder_

  
_Hey Jude, don't make it bad_   
_Take a sad song and make it better_   
_Remember to let her under your skin_   
_Then you'll begin to make it_   
_Better, better, better, better, better, better, oh_

  
_Na na na na na, na na na, hey Jude_   
_Na na na na na, na na na, hey Jude_

  
When Jay had stopped singing, he could feel the heavy, even breathing coming from Evan. He smiled and kissed his son's forehead. For a moment, he thought about his own mother. His mom would sing him "Hey Jude" as a child and it always made him feel better. Evan was lulled back into sleep and Jay knew that the child would get through the night.

  
Carefully, he got up from the couch and carried the child into his bedroom. As gently as he could, the blue eyed man placed Evan on his bed and brought the covers up to his chin. "Goodnight, angel." He whispered, placing a kiss to the boy's head. Jay walked out of the room, taking a moment to look back at the sleeping face of his son. With a small smile on his face, he went into his room and retired for the night. Looking at Evan, he knew everything would be okay.

  
The next morning, Jay walked into the 21st and made his way up to Intelligence. He's had butterflies in his stomach all morning thinking about what he was going to say to Voight. He stopped at the top of the stairs. It was like he couldn't breathe. He caught Lindsay looking at him with a small smile on her face. She motioned towards the Sargent's office, motioning that he was in there.

  
"It'll be okay." She mouthed to him and all he could do was push the lump in his throat down. God was he nervous at this point. He finally found it in him to walk into Voight's office. It felt as if his heart skipped a beat when he looked at Hank. The man was looking at his computer. Those caring brown eyes that could burn a hole right through someone.

  
Jay closed the door behind him and that caught the attention of his boss. Voight looked at him and leaned back in his chair. "Something I can help you with, Halstead?" The man's gravelly voice rang in Jay's ear. By this point, Jay could feel the sweat forming on his palms. The blue eyed man wiped his hands on his jeans and took a seat across from Hank.

  
"Um.. Sarge, I have to tell you something." Jay's voice came out weak. He cleared his throat. "This case, I think it's about me." Voight leaned against his desk. Making sure that Jay knew he had his full attention. "After I got back from Afganistan, it was hard. I was into things I'm not proud of. I feel into a crowd, similiar to what happened with Mouse. Only, I wasn't as bad. I was coming to terms with what happened while I was deployed and with not only who I was but who I liked."

  
Voight remained silent and Jay could feel the butterflies return. Voight wasn't looking at him with his normal cold stare but with a look of compassion. It took another moment for Jay too be able to speak again.

  
"I came to terms that I was..." He ran his hand through his hair and took a deep breath. "That I was gay. I didn't want to believe it for the longest time. Dated girls to hide it from my parents. When I got back, I met this guy who was into stuff. I knew better but I feel in love with him. His name was Chris Winters."

  
Finally, Hank spoke, "How does this link you to this case?" Voight folded his hands in his lap and leaned back again, looking into Jay's eyes. Relief came to the younger man. Voight didn't look at him with disguist like Jay thought he would.

  
"The places that all the victims were killed, they were places that me and Chris would go to have... well you know. We met in Valentino Bar and hooked up in the backroom there that night. We would get high and drunk. It wasn't until he took me to the warehouse in Canaryville that I finally knew what he was really into. He was a leader of a drug trafficking ring that operated outside of Chicago. I wanted out then." Jay explained further.

  
Jay was nervous once again. It was now or never. He had to tell Voight about Evan. He had already gone into more information than he did with Erin. "There is something else you aren't telling me." Hank got up and went around his desk and kneeled down in front of Jay. By this moment, Jay had tears forming in his eyes. He was scared. "You can tell me anything. I know I don't show it much but I'm here for you, Jay." The Sargeant placed his hand firmly on Jay's shoulder.

  
"I had found out I was pregnant." The tears fell from his eyes at this point. "I gave birth to my son, Evan. I swore everyone to secrecy. I was scared what Chris would do if he found out about Evan. My son, he saved my life." The dead silence from Voight was starting to make Jay panic. The look on Voight's face was unreadable. Hank didn't look away from the young detective as he processed everything that was being told to him.

  
"I enrolled into the police academy shortly afterwards and made it through. I became a patrolman and I ran into Chris again.. this time was at Riverton apartments during a call. He tried to talk to me. When me and my partner went to leave, he called me by my full name. My full name is Jay Michael Halstead. My initials were left at all the crime scenes."  
Jay couldn't hold it in any longer. He broke down and leaned into Voight, looking for comfort in some way. All his fears finally began to show. He was scared for himself, he was scared for his son, and he was scared about what Voight would think of him now. "Shhh, calm down. It's okay." Hank said softly, trying to sooth Halstead. "I wish you would of came to me sooner." Voight continued to say soothing words into the brunette's ear softly until the man finally was able to stop crying. "I need you to be completely honest with me." Jay nodded, looking into Hank's eyes. "Do you think Winters could or would have done this?"

  
"Without a doubt.. I watched him beat a man half to death for just talking to me. Last I heard, he was running heroine in Ohio." Jay whispered, looking down to his lap. "He can't find out about Evan. Please... if he's involved in this.. he can't find out about my son." Hank moved to hold Jay's face in his hand. All the air seemed to leave Jay's lungs and his heart was beating in his ears. His face was on fire in the place where Voight's hand rested against his cheek. The next words out of the older man's mouth calmed all his fears.  
"I promise you with my life, Jay."

  
The two sat like this for awhile before they heard a knock on the door. Erin opened up the door and peeked in. "There's be another murder." Hank and Jay looked to one another. They got up and left the office behind Erin. With everything off his chest, it felt like Jay could breath again. He looked once again to Hank once he got to his desk. The Sargeant never failed to amaze him. He was expecting his boss to explode on him but the man was calm, collected, and caring. He showed compassion but the look in his eyes were something different. Jay couldn't figure it out. He couldn't figure out why his heart was beating so fast any time he looked at Hank.

  
His attention was taken away from his boss when Dawson began to talk. "Our victim is Jake Gilman. He was killed the same way as the others, but this time instead of a letter a word as left at this scene." Antonio walked over to the board and put the picture up. Jay's breath hitched. " _Bell'angelo_. It means beautiful angel in Italian."

  
The blue eyed man could feel eyes on him. He looked up and Hank was looking right at him. Looking away from Voight, he also saw Erin looking at him. Both of them nodded at him. They had his back. He just had to prove that Chris Winters was involved or not.


	4. Chris Winters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Picks up where Chapter 3 left off. Pairings have changed but not my main ones. It's still Jay/Hank and Erin/Nadia.

Jay couldn't utter a word as he hastily got up from his desk and excused himself from the bull pen. The rest of the unit looked at each other. Lindsay went to get up from her seat when Hank stopped her.

"Let him go." Voight said firmly before looking back up to the rest of the team. "Look up information on each of the victims, see if there is a connection and get your CI's out there working the streets. We need to find this guy." The Sargeant stated, pointing between everyone, mentally assigning them jobs to do. "Antonio, my office."

The Latino detective got up from his desk and followed after Voight without saying a word. The older man closed the door behind them and Antonio moved to talk. "This is about Jay isn't it? What he said to you before you guys came out here?" Antonio never failed to impress Hank with his detective skills. Dawson was one of the best detectives in the 21st district.

"We don't know yet." Voight said simply looking at the Latino man in front of him. Antonio had a look on his face that he always gets when he knows there is more to the story. "I know what you're thinking Antonio but this is about Jay. He'll come to everyone when he's ready." The older man was not about to break Jay's trust when a secret like this. It's on a need to know basis until Jay is ready to come forward with it. He had a sinking feeling the entire time he was working with the former Army Ranger that there was something more to him than he was leading on to everyone. He just had to let Jay come to him first and he's not about to go behind Jay's back to another detective.

"Why am I in here than?" Antonio questioned, not really sure at this point why he was in here if Voight wasn't going to tell him anything.

Voight took a deep breath and looked past Dawson into the bullpen. Intelligence was quickly at work and there was still no sign of Halstead yet. "I need you to get as much information on a man as you can get."

Antonio cocked an eyebrow at his first in command. "All I need is a name and I'll hit the streets." The Latino detective stuck his hands in his pockets as he looked dead serious into the eyes of Voight. He wasn't going to push into the subject of what was talked about in this room before he originally had came in here; even as much as he wants to know he can't. It was between Jay and Voight.

"Chris Winters. I need everything on this man. Every place he's been in the last year, even to take a small breath. Anything." Hank stated, stepping closer to Antonio close enough to whisper in his ear. "Keep an eye on Halstead, will you."

Antonio nodded and headed towards the door. "I'm on it, Sarge." Without another word, Dawson walked out of the room, grabbed his coat and left the bullpen.

Jay Halstead

The blue eyed detective felt as if he couldn't breathe as he rushed out of District 21. He made it to the back of the building and braced himself on the wall as all of what was on his stomach came lurching out onto the ground. Jay jumped as he felt a hand on the small of his back. He turned and swung blindly. His hand was caught but a gentle yet firm grip.

"Hey kid, it's just me." Al? "Calm down, you're okay." Jay didn't even notice he was hyperventilating until he was lowered gently to the ground with his back against the brick wall. "Breathe, Jay." Alvin's calming voice was soothing. The two detectives sat in that position for a couple of minutes as Halstead cleared his head. "Kid, you know you can tell me anything. Whenever you're ready, you know where to find me."

Alvin went to walk away, knowing that Jay doesn't like anyone seeing him like this but at least the man is calm now. "Al, wait." The elder detective stopped and looked back at the blue eyed man. "Better now than never." Olinski moved back and took a seat next to Jay in the alleyway.

"You don't have to tell me anything now. I know something's been up with you since yesterday. I've been a cop for a really long time. Probably before you were even born." Both Alvin and Jay cracked up when Alvin said that. Olinski just smiled and leaned back against the bricks with his arms propped up on his knees. "So what's going on with you, Jay?"  
Jay took a breath and looked towards the wall across from them. "This case... it's about me. I know it is. I don't even have to know everything and I already know." Alvin stayed quiet as the man spoke softly. "If I'm being targeted, I can deal with that. I've done it before. I can't now. Not when..." The younger detective's voice trailed off. Tears were starting to form in his eyes, he squeezed his eyes shut and harshly wiped them away. "Not when my son's life might be at risk."

"You know we would never let that happen. Voight would freeze hell over before he ever let anything happen to you." Alvin whispered. "I had a sinking feeling that you were hiding something like that from us but I'm not one of pry. The way you act is the same way I acted when Lexie as little."

Jay just looked at the older man not sure what to say. Of course of all people, Alvin would know. "Only a few people know about him just mostly because of the way he was born. His name is Evan and he's the light of my life."

Alvin took a deep breath and put his arm over Jay's shoulders. "You gave birth to him, didn't you?" Halstead's head popped up and he looked wided eyed at the older man.  
"How did you know?" Jay muttered, not really sure how Alvin would be able to guess something like a man giving birth to a baby and not a woman. Alvin just laughed, one of those laughs that are contigous just to hear. "You must think I'm a freak.."

Alvin smacked the blue eyed man upside the head and gave him a look. That look alone could make anyone get a shiver down their spine. "Jay, I don't think you're a freak. My cousin when I was about twenty got told he had a uterus and he could bare children. He wasn't homosexual or anything but he met a beautiful little red head and she couldn't have kids. So when they got married, their best friend from school donated his well you know, and they had kids. She did manage to have twins later on but my cousin, what he did wasn't weird. It was inspiring. Don't think I'll treat you different cause you gave birth to a baby. You are still, Jay Halstead. Remember that."

"You didn't think anything of it?" Jay whispered, "Of your cousin being able to bare children?"

Alvin once again laughed. "Why would I? He's still the same guy I knew when I was a kid. He's a great father and a hell of a doctor. Everyone knows what he did. What his body is. He didn't hide it, he wore it like a badge and called out anyone who dared say anything to him. His wife was hilarious though. She would turn into a little spitfire when someone said something. People are cruel but remember, you are that little boy's father and his mother. Follow your instinct and your gut. If you think something is off, than follow that instinct." Olinskiy muttered softly, pulling the young detective close to him. Jay's breathing had now evened out and he was getting calmer by the minute. "I want to meet the mini Jay by the way. He's gonna love his Uncle Al." Jay cracked up and soon both men were laughing together.

They sat in silence for a moment, Jay seeking comfort in the embracing and warm arms of the older man. "Hey Al..."

"Yeah, kid?"

Jay took in another sharp breath before talking once more. "I'm gay." A small smile came to Alvin's face. He had always known that the former Army Ranger was gay. It was no secret to him, he was just waiting for the moment for Halstead to finally tell him.

"I know, Jay. I know." Alvin said, pulling Jay just a little closer. "Let's get inside, you kinda worried everyone with the way you walked out."

Antonio Dawson

Antonio was leaning against his car, sipping on his coffee as he was waiting for his CI, Amber to meet up. Amber is a former drug addict and escort who used to work on the streets in Canaryville and the parts of town the murders took place. If anyone would know information it would be her. She opened up a small cafe in the West side of Chicago over a year ago. It's a hot spot for low drug dealers and prostitutes. Amber is one of Dawson's most valuable CI's he has in his aresonal. He was the reason she had gotten out of that life and made herself better for her daughter. It was probably the reason that Amber trusted Antonio so much.

It didn't take long and a young African American girl, no taller than 5'2 and 120 pounds came around the corner, her wavy hair bouncing against her shoulders as she walked. She gave Antonio a soft smile as she got up to him. "Hey, Detective Dawson." Her voice soft and gentle. They had met when she was only seventeen years old. She is now twenty one and happily living her life without crime. "What's so urgent, I need to get back to the diner soon."

"I need as much information that you have on a man, he works around here from what I've heard." Dawson started, not really sure exactly what to say. Amber gave a quick nod.  
"What kind of man, I know a lot of people, detective." The woman said, putting her hands into the pockets of her jacket. "Lot of talk on the streets right now. The murders happening around here. Is this what it's about?" She had always been clever, if she played her cards right and wanted to she could be a cop one day.

The detective shifted on his feet. "You got any information on a man named, Chris Winters?" Amber's face became stone cold at the mention of the man's name.

"Chris Winters, bastard who's been running heroine around here. I wouldn't put it past him to be behind these murders. Came into my diner the other day and tried to rough up some of the girls. Kicked him out instantly. Those girls come in to get away from that life for even a minute. Don't want that in my cafe." Amber stated, venom practically in her voice as she talked. "He's got a lot of people working for him. He's dangerous."

Dawson wrote down notes as she was talking, getting as much information on the small notepad as he could. "What does he look like, Amber? Anything, any details?"

"Tall, maybe about 6'3, light brown hair, green eyes. He probably weighs around 220 pounds. He's got a scar above his right eye." The African American girl stated, looking over her shoulders as she talked as if someone could be watching her. "He's been around for almost a year, ten months maybe. He laid low for a while. First came into my diner about five months ago asking for some cop." Antonio perked up, biting his lip as he thought.

"Who's the cop?" Antonio pushed. Amber didn't move to talk, almost as if she was scared too. "Amber, who's the cop? If you are being threatened, I can protect you. I did before you know I'll do it again." The woman took a deep breath and looked to the detective.

"Winters said he had unfinished business with him, not sure what he meant but the look in his eye. It was like a mad man." Amber stated. "His name was Jay Halstead."

Antonio's blood ran cold at the mention of his co worker's name. The pieces of the case that didn't make sense were suddenly becoming clear. This was about Jay, and Jay was in serious trouble. "Thank you, Amber. Call me if anything happens." The detective turned and got into his car and quickly took off towards the district. He had to get back. The unit needed to know. Jay was in some serious trouble.

Intelligence Unit

"Only one name kept popping up with every person I talked to." Ruzek said as he came into the room, everyone at their desks as the unit slowly was getting back together into the room. The blonde rookie walked over and placed a picture on the board. "His name is Henry Rodgers. He's the second in command. They couldn't give me a name for the top guy other than something along the lines of Chris or Charles." Atwater came forward with another picture.

"Jared Marshal, third in command and is leader of the streets in the ring. My CI said they think the head dude's name is Winters. Apparently Jared is the one who meets with the smaller dealers to move heroine around the West side of Chicago. No one wanted to tell me the name. They were to scared to, I did manage to get the last name out of them."  
Erin was practically bouncing in her place. The names weren't making sense. Voight was still in his office but she wasn't sure if he would tell her anything about what him and Jay had talked about. There was more than what Jay told her that was going on, she had a gut feeling about it. She just knew. Jay is her best friend. Just had to be.

Jay and Alvin came up the stairs a couple of moments later. Jay's eyes were glued to the floor as they came into the room. Erin could see his eyes were slightly puffy. She felt something pull in her as she wanted to go over and talk to him. She decided to leave it for the moment. Jay would talk to her when he was ready. He just needed time.

Antonio came flying through the door, a picture in his hand as he smacked it on the board. "Chris Winters, he's our guy." Jay's head popped up, momentarily Erin could have sworn was fear in his eyes. Once again Jay's heart was racing. Voight had came out of his office when Dawson had come in. Everything in Voight told him to go over to Jay, wrap his arms around the man and tell him it was all gonna be okay. First, they had to catch this guy. "He's been in Chicago for ten months, running heroine throughout the city. Rodgers and Marshal are his two closest men. We get them, we get Winters." Antonio turned to look at Jay, nodding his head softly. Jay could barely look him in the eye as he tried to calm down. It was like his whole world was crashing around him. Why now of all times is Chris Winters back in Chicago?

"I've got an address, my informant works for Marshal. They work out of a warehouse in Canaryville. 734 West Brooke Street." Kim said, holding up the paper she had gotten after hearing Marshal's name from Kevin. Voight looked at the team.

"Let's go get this son of a bitch." Voight stated, not having to say it twice as the entire team rushed towards the garage. He stopped for a moment in front of Jay and placed his hand on the back of Halstead's neck. "We'll get this guy." Just that simple sentence was enough to calm Jay's nerves down. Hank moved away from the younger man, a trial of fire left on the back of Jay's neck as they left. Antonio turned to look at them as they came through the hall.

"Stay close to someone, Jay. My CI named you specifically." Jay balled his hand into a fist and bit his lip. Damnit.

734 West Brooke Street, Canaryville, Chicago

The Intelligence Unit had the entire building surrounded. Voight and Dawson entering the front, Ruzek and Olinski through the side door on the right, Atwater and Burgess through the side door on the left, and finally Halstead and Lindsay through the back.

Lindsay led the way and Jay following in behind her to watch her back as they went through. Checking through the doors and guns raised as they checked throughout the warehouse. They got the all clear from Burgess and another from Ruzek. Dawson came through a couple of moments later with the all clear signal. After checking their section, Lindsay radioed in the all clear. Jay lowered his gun and holstered it, beginning to look around the room. It looked like the warehouse hadn't been used recently. They were missing something.

A bookshelf caught Jay's eye and he unholistered his gun once more and slowly moved the bookshelf out of the way. Of course, he's always been known for secret doors. Jay thought to himself. Motioning for Erin to come over. They gave a quick nod and Jay opened the door and Erin pointed her gun through the door.

"We got a secret passageway, stairs heading down towards what looks like another floor or a basement." Erin said softly into the radio before Jay went ahead of her down the stairs. The wind as knocked out of him as he felt something smack into his stomach. He lurched forward as he heard Erin yell out from behind him. He got up and fired a shot in the direction of the prep before being hit again on the side of his head.

Disoriented, Jay fell to the ground as Erin fired a couple of more rounds. Jay could barely move as he tried to get off the ground. A shot rang out by his head and hit Lindsay square in the chest. He screamed out as she slumped to the floor. No, no, no...

The blue eyed man was hauled off the floor and slowly his vision started to unblur. Emerald green. His heart started to race as he stood face to face with Chris Winters. Still groggy from the head shot he pushed as much as he could against Winters. His mind was on his fallen partner. God, Erin please be okay.

"Hello there, bell'angelo." Chris' voice was still as husky as Jay remembered and wanted to forget. The voice that had made him fall in love all those years ago. "Not happy to see me, Jay?"

Jay felt his anger flare. He threw a punch and managed to get Chris in the jaw. The taller man stumbled before clocking Jay in the temple with the butt of his gun. Chris kneeled down to where Jay was struggling to stand. He had always been able to over power the younger man.

"How is my boy, the boy you kept from me, Jay?" Adrenaline began to flow through Jay at the mention of his son. How did he know? "I've been watching you for a while. Waiting for my moment to come for you. It will be soon. Right now, I just want you to know, I can come whenever and where ever to get you. I will have you again, even if it kills me. I might even take you with me. Just to make sure no one can ever have you." Chris whispered as he leaned in close and placed a kiss against the cut on Jay's forehead. "Shouldn't have fought, I hate marking up that perfect face."

"Fuck off, bastard." Jay growled, thrashing his head forward and hitting Chris square in the nose. Blood instantly coming from the criminal's nose. "I'll kill you if you lay a hand on my son. Do whatever you want to me, my son stays out of this. He'll never be yours." The detective growled through his teeth. Where was the team? Haven't they heard the shots fired.

"You say that but you know. I'll have you, Jay. I've always had you." Chris mocked the fallen detective. He leaned forward and placed a rough kiss on Jay's lips before throwing the man to the ground and walking away. "See you soon, my love."

Just in that moment, the rest of the team busted through the door guns raised. Burgess ran over to Erin with Atwater on her heels as Voight and Dawson went over to Jay. "Move out, find him." Voight yelled out to Olinksi and Ruzek.

Jay sat up with the help of his coworkers. "Erin.. she.. is.." Voight pulled him against his chest and he shook violently. The events of the last couple of months replaying in his head.

"She's fine. Just going to be bruised. She was wearing a vest, Jay. She's fine." Dawson stated, hoping to calm the clearly terrified man. "You'll be okay." Antonio added, not quite knowing what happened but had a pretty good idea.

Jay looked at Voight, almost terror written on his face. "He's knows, Hank."


End file.
